Monster

[Magestic]

Vodka is a very deceptive drink, because you drink it and you say, "Why are we drinking this? This is nothing, it has no smell, no taste! Why are we—Why are we on a traffic island?"

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Про виски:
It turns you into two people: one of you's very nice, you'll go up to complete strangers and say, "Come in, come in, sit down, for God's sake, have something. Have my bed." And then you'll go up to people you've known and loved all your life and say, "Get the fuck out of my house. Go on, get out! And leave a tip!"

Про джин:
The most dangerous drink is gin. You have to be really, really careful with that. And you also have to be 45, female and sitting on the stairs. Because gin isn't really a drink, it's more a mascara thinner. "Nobody likes my shoes! I made... I made fifty... fucking vol-au-vents, and not one of you... not one of you... said 'Thank you.'" And my favourite: "Everybody, shut up. Shut up! This song is all about me."

Про песню:
Then this song came on—I will never forget it—it was called "The Funk Soul Brother." And I will always remember that because it was also all of the lyrics... and, er, it was that school of songwriting, you know, very easy on the words in case they get wasted... I don't know what... there's a shortage, and... it sounded like a million fire engines chasing ten million ambulances through a war zone and was played at a volume that made the empty chair beside me bleed. And it went, erm, "Funk soul brother... right about now... yeah... it's the, it's the funk soul brother... check it out. It's, er, well... it's the funk soul brother, essentially. He's, er, he's coming. He's coming at you. It's the... well... it's the funk soul brother." And after a while, I began to penetrate the meaning of this song, you know? I gathered that somebody was about to arrive, and everybody else was terribly excited. Maybe he was bringing cake or something, they didn't say. But the thing was, you see, he wasn't there yet. Ha ha, that was the hook! I'm not saying it's a bad song, you know, or anything like that. All I'm saying is that if you get—I don't know—a broom, say, and dip it in some brake fluid, put the other end up my arse, stick me on a trampoline in a moving lift, and I would write a better song on the walls.

Про расставания:
Or when people break up, they always use a bunch of lines on each other, you know, terrible rubbish lies, like "It’s not you, it’s me, it’s me." It’s NEVER you, it’s always them! You should level with these people! Tell them! "You know that strange sound you used to hear when you were going to sleep? That was me CHEWING the bed, out of sheer boredom! OOOOHH, How I HATE you, I hate you so much it gives me energy! I have to get up early in the morning to hate you because there isn’t time enough in the day. Please, GO AWAY!" Or that other BULLSHIT: "I need more space!" People never quantify exactly how much space they really need.. do they? But strangely enough, it always seems to be the exact same height, depth and breadth as you.


Эх, это последнее что у меня было непросмотренное. Вот посмотрела и грустно как-то.

@темы: DM

Comments

[SveTka.]

про водку прям в точку
и я помню эту песню

Вот посмотрела и грустно как-то

как я тебя понимаю: сиди теперь, мучайся и жди чего-нить нового

[Magestic]

блин, нашлись бы субтитры еще, так хочется все понимать))

сиди теперь, мучайся и жди чего-нить нового

да( снял бы он сериал еще какой-нибудь с собой в главной роли, оф кос

[SveTka.]

блин, нашлись бы субтитры еще, так хочется все понимать))

это стэнд-ап выступление какое-то, я так понимаю?)

сериал еще какой-нибудь с собой в главной роли, оф кос

ну и пару-тройку своих знакомых бы туда позвал

[Magestic]

это стэнд-ап выступление какое-то, я так понимаю?)

ага)

ну и пару-тройку своих знакомых бы туда позвал

и друзей знакомых тоже

[SveTka.]

ну-да, ну-да и их я тоже имела в виду